Fostering can be a rewarding and life-changing experience for families, but it also comes with its challenges, especially for the birth children of foster carers. While fostering offers a chance for a family to help children, birth children often face big changes, from sharing personal space to forming strong bonds with children who may not stay permanently. Understanding the impact fostering can have on birth children is very important when considering.
What are some of the challenges?
Sharing: One of the biggest changes birth children experience when their family begins fostering is the need to share. Whether it’s sharing their home, toys, or time with their parents, this can be a lot to process. Talking with your children and teaching them the importance of sharing and a wider understanding of why we share, will be beneficial when it comes to this side of fostering.
Cultural differences: Fostering often involves children from different religious or ethnic backgrounds, your children may need to learn to understand different ways of celebrating holidays, eating meals, or following household routines.
Sense of loss: When a foster child leaves the family, birth children can experience a deep sense of loss. They may have grown a close bond with the foster child, and their departure can feel like losing a sibling. It’s important to support birth children through this, helping them understand that saying goodbye is part of the foster care journey.
Copying behaviour: Some foster children come from challenging environments and may show difficult behaviours because of their past. Birth children may sometimes copy these behaviours, especially if they don’t fully understand the reasons behind them. This can be a concern for parents, but it’s a chance to teach birth children about boundaries and correct behaviour.
What are the benefits?
Greater appreciation: Seeing first-hand the struggle many foster children have faced can lead birth children to develop an appreciation for their own life. They may become more grateful for their home and family, understanding that not all children are as fortunate.
Friendships and bonds: Many birth children form close, meaningful relationships with foster children, even considering them as siblings. These friendships can have a long-lasting impact on both birth children and foster children.
Empathy: Being able to live and see the lives of foster children helps birth children develop empathy. They begin to understand that not everyone’s experiences are the same and learn to offer kindness, patience, and understanding to those going through difficult times.
Exposure to different people: Fostering offers birth children a chance to meet and connect with children from all different backgrounds. This exposure not only opens their worldview but also helps them develop an appreciation for diversity.
Role empowerment: Discussing with your children what their role is in welcoming foster children into your home, is a brilliant way for them to know they are playing a part in helping children feel welcomed, which can be very empowering for them.
Trust and communication: Foster children may find it easier to trust other children in the home rather than adults, so the bonds and conversations that children have with each other can be less daunting and stressful.
Positive role model: Birth children can be seen as positive role models for foster children. As they demonstrate following house rules, routines and traditions, they will be providing foster children a clear guide to follow as they adjust to a new home environment.
How do I approach fostering with my birth children?
Before starting the fostering process, have an open conversation with your children about what fostering involves and how it might change your family dynamic. Giving them a voice in the decision can help them feel more prepared and respected.
Be clear about how everyone’s daily life might change, from sharing space to adjusting to new routines. Knowing what to expect can help your children feel more ready and secure.
Birth children may need extra reassurance, especially if they feel worried by the arrival of a foster child. Regularly check in with them to ensure they are coping well and offer a safe space for them to express their feelings.
Explain to your children that foster children may behave differently due to their past experiences, and that patience and understanding are key to helping them feel safe and loved.
Highlight the benefits of fostering, such as the opportunity to make new friends and help someone have a family like them. Celebrating the positive moments together as a family can create a sense of pride and purpose.
What support is there for my birth children?
At Foster Birmingham, we know how crucial your children can be to creating successful foster homes. For that reason, we strongly believe in supporting your birth children on their fostering journey and offer a Birth Children Support Group.
The group is a brilliant opportunity to meet other children who are also part of a fostering family. They meet up during the school holidays to do fun activities, share experiences, and offer support to one another. It’s a great opportunity to connect, make new friends and have a brilliant day out!
In summary
Fostering can have a brilliant impact on both the foster children and the birth children in your family. While there will be challenges, the rewards often outweigh everything else. Birth children gain a sense of appreciation for what they have, and the importance of kindness and patience. By approaching fostering with open communication and support, your birth children can play a really important role in shaping the lives of the foster children who pass through your home, creating lasting friendships and teaching them valuable life lessons they will use for years to come.
Enquire
We are actively recruiting foster carers and currently fast-tracking applications. If you are interested in finding out more about this rewarding role we would love to hear from you!
Our foster carers receive a competitive financial package as well as ongoing specialist training and support.
Call our dedicated fostering team today on 0121 303 7575 or enquire online.
