For Aaron, fostering isn’t something he discovered later in life. It’s something he has grown up with.
With parents who have been foster carers for more than 20 years, fostering has always been part of family life. Now, after spending his childhood welcoming children and young people into his home, Aaron has started his own journey as a foster carer.
“I must have been around 2 years old when they started, so it’s literally all I’ve ever known,” he said.
Growing Up in a Fostering Family
For Aaron, having foster children in the home felt completely natural.
Rather than seeing fostering as something different, he grew up surrounded by children who became part of day-to-day family life.
“It has been a very positive experience for me growing up,” he said.
“The way I’ve seen it is that I’ve always had loads of siblings.”
With children regularly joining family activities, holidays and everyday routines, fostering was simply part of life in the Aaron household.
As he got older, Aaron began to realise the impact he was having on the children around him.
“When I was in my early teen years, I wanted to be the cool kid; I was the class clown and getting into trouble at school, but then I came to understand that I was being looked up to.
“Even though I wasn’t in the main foster carer role, the younger children were still looking up to me and that shaped my perspective into thinking, OK, I need to be a good role model.”
Learning From the Children Around Him
Growing up in a fostering household also gave Aaron a wider perspective on the different experiences children can have.
“It helped me gain an understanding that children have different experiences of family life, safety, trust, all these things that maybe a lot of us take for granted.
“It’s not the same for children. All children have different experiences because every child is different and has a different experience.
“You can’t have a one-size-fits-all approach. You have to cater to the child’s needs and understand where they are with trusting adults or how they feel.”
During secondary school, Aaron found that some of the children living with his family would talk to him about things they found difficult to discuss with adults.
“Some of the things they wouldn’t speak to adults about, they’d speak to me about because they could confide in me.”
Why Aaron Chose to Become a Foster Carer
Those conversations helped shape Aaron’s decision to become a foster carer himself.
“That’s what led me towards becoming a foster carer myself because I thought I’m young myself and I thought that children can confide in me more.
“Plus, I could bring the energy and the enthusiasm as well.”
While he saw some of the challenges that fostering can bring, watching how his parents supported children through difficult times strengthened his desire to follow in their footsteps.
“I wouldn’t say I became a foster carer because I thought it was going to be easy.
“I think seeing my parents stay consistent in their care, and for me, my parents are my role models.”
He believes one of the biggest misconceptions about fostering is that carers are expected to fix every problem.
“I think people have the perspective that fostering is trying to save a child, but it’s not.
“Fostering to me is just giving a child a sense of normality.”
Memories That Stay With You
Among Aaron’s many memories of growing up in a fostering family, one stands out in particular.
Before becoming an approved foster carer, he joined his parents and the four children in their care on a family holiday.
“It was the first time the kids had ever been on a plane or been abroad or anything and just seeing their faces and seeing just how ecstatic they were, it just makes you feel good about yourself.”
The relationships built through fostering have also lasted well beyond childhood.
“Some of the children that have been in my parents’ care, they’re adults now and we’re still really close friends to this day and we still visit each other and meet up with each other.”
Starting His Own Fostering Journey
Aaron was approved as a foster carer in July this year and says that while growing up around fostering helped him understand the role, becoming a foster carer himself has shown him a different side.
“Of course, I think that definitely helped. However, now that I’m doing it myself it has shown me a lot more of what goes on behind the scenes of fostering.
“When I was in my parents’ care it was more just seeing the children come and go and obviously you do have an idea of social workers, but you don’t really fully understand it.”
He also found the training both enjoyable and enlightening.
He said the assessment and training process helped build on the knowledge he had gained growing up in a fostering household, while also giving him a deeper understanding of the challenges some children and young people face.
Challenging Misconceptions About Who Can Foster
As a single foster carer, Aaron is keen to challenge assumptions about who can foster.
“Well look, I’m a single carer going into it and a lot of people would say to me, ‘Are you sure that’s the right thing to do?’ But because I know the support my parents received, I didn’t feel like I was alone.”
Aaron says the support he has received since becoming approved has been a real positive.
“It’s not just you, there’s a whole team revolving around that child whether it’s the social worker, the school, health, even your support network.
“For newly approved foster carers, I would tell them don’t feel like it’s just you and that’s it. There’s a whole range of support out there.”
Looking Ahead
Although Aaron is only at the beginning of his fostering journey, he is already drawing on lessons learned from his parents over the years.
“I think seeing the routine side of things and the boundaries has come into play.
“And my mum’s cooking – she taught me how to cook a few dishes!”
When reflecting on his family’s fostering journey, what stands out most is their shared commitment to supporting children through every challenge.
“Through both the good times and the bad, just seeing how resilient they are and how we all just come together and try and do what we’ve got to do for the child’s best interests.”
And for anyone considering fostering themselves, Aaron has a simple message:
“Do it. Honestly, I think the satisfaction that you get from this job you’re not really going to get from a lot of jobs out there.
“And I think fostering opens up a whole new perspective on the world.”
Inspired by Aaron’s story?
Whether you’ve been thinking about fostering for years or are just starting to explore the idea, our friendly team is here to answer your questions and help you understand what’s involved.
To find out more about becoming a foster carer, call us on 0121 303 7575 or enquire online.
